1. Insert Credit Card into the slot on this machine.
2. Type in PIN number: ****.
3. Please wait while loading. Look above the product listings for how long it has left.
4. Obtain credit card.
5. Await delivery of free robot*.
Thank you for your services to Protronix!
*Packaging costs £923.99. Delivered in approximately 72 years.
New worker
We would like to welcome P. Diddy to our company. He will be operating Unit 1Aa after the tragic death of P. Sacrapova. We will add his picture to the database with the faces of over 1000 people who have kindly donated their time into making the best robots on Racnoss. Thank you.
Sign up!
Sign up for the Protronix subscription- purchase all of the Protronix robots for free- only £7238398498394.99! Email 'protronix47@protronmail.net' for subscription guidelines and a free voucher for our online shop!
More FAQs
Q: My Olvidrive X-474 disc is broken. What do I do?
A: Stick it back together again.
Q: Last year I bought a Unit 83Oe. It destroyed my car. Can you pay insurance?
A: We cannot pay insurance, but we can lend you a large sum of credits to pay back later.
Q: My dog is being hypnotised by your J6bot. What shall I do?
A: Type the password '6thistle∆55' into the access panel. You might have to do this while it's inactive, or it'll kill you.
Q: Did you let the cat out before we left?
A: No.
Reply: Oops, sorry, wrong person.
Q: Is it possible to apply a J-sector ∆X90445 quadrant to an OL83π, creating a 155∆N5E0R2O section with a 9nD9 plug-in?
A: Yes, but don't let the cat eat it.
A: Stick it back together again.
Q: Last year I bought a Unit 83Oe. It destroyed my car. Can you pay insurance?
A: We cannot pay insurance, but we can lend you a large sum of credits to pay back later.
Q: My dog is being hypnotised by your J6bot. What shall I do?
A: Type the password '6thistle∆55' into the access panel. You might have to do this while it's inactive, or it'll kill you.
Q: Did you let the cat out before we left?
A: No.
Reply: Oops, sorry, wrong person.
Q: Is it possible to apply a J-sector ∆X90445 quadrant to an OL83π, creating a 155∆N5E0R2O section with a 9nD9 plug-in?
A: Yes, but don't let the cat eat it.
Sorry for the inconvenience!
Earlier in the year, we issued a range of E-37-O credit cards to use for accessing the E-37-O476 cash machines, but we made a slight mistake in the programming and the two products became incompatible. We would all like to say sorry and to give you the correct access code: 63FH6øπ7µ. There will not be any further inconveniences, as we have upgraded the system. Sorry!
Terrorist attack
There has been a terrorist attack at the Protronix warehouse today. There were two people and a car who drove up to the Protronix warehouse and threatened Unit 1Aa at the help desk. This is a transmissin we got from 1Aa that day:
Two bipeds arrived at the Protronix warehouse today. They looked like primates, but they may have been rodents. One of them wore translucent facial casing protecting his eyes, while the other carried a recording device- maybe one of our X-47-ps? They did not look like terrorists, although I had a feeling that there was something hiding in the car. The one with facial casing was called 'Mr. X' by the other. The car spoke briefly, then they went away. They said they had come from a planet named 'Earth'. We have never heard of such a thing.
We've looked in the record book for Racnoss and found no one with the surname 'X'.
Two bipeds arrived at the Protronix warehouse today. They looked like primates, but they may have been rodents. One of them wore translucent facial casing protecting his eyes, while the other carried a recording device- maybe one of our X-47-ps? They did not look like terrorists, although I had a feeling that there was something hiding in the car. The one with facial casing was called 'Mr. X' by the other. The car spoke briefly, then they went away. They said they had come from a planet named 'Earth'. We have never heard of such a thing.
We've looked in the record book for Racnoss and found no one with the surname 'X'.
Other Universe detected!
Our valuable equipment has detected another Universe, bigger than our own! Unit 17∆b has been found in a place he calls 'London'. Pronounciation: Lun-dun. Isn't it strange that 'London' is an anagram of our city, Onlond? There are dangerous beasts living there, such as poisonous reptiles and swamp gas creatures. Unit 17∆b has sent us a radio signal all about it. This other Universe seems a lot bigger than our own. All the better to conquer and civilise!
Protronix Tower!
The new, refurbished Protronix Tower has just been rebuilt after the earthquake last summer! It has a new elevator system in which the elevators go sideways as well as up and down! We're sure that it will be a success once the warehouse reopens!
FAQs
Q: My 'Unit 37øt' isn't responding to communication. What do I do?
A: Thump it and tell it to go to bed early.
Q: I recently purchased a nanobot 'Unit 42µg', but it keeps exploding. What do I do?
A: Type in access code 12π∂4∫6∆Fƒ84 and insert a 495©∆BjS disc into the disk drive.
Q: There are no 'Unit 62Ωe's left in stock in your warehouse headquaters in Onlond. Are there any other warehouses in Denlang?
A: Sorry but no. We will try to get more in stock later in the year. Sorry for this slight inconvenience!
Q: Do you have the 'Unit 54∆o's jet pack separate from the robot? I bought one for my son's birthday but the jet pack was missing.
A: Sorry for the inconvenience! We will try to get one posted to you in the next few weeks with no postal charge! (That is, if the postmen don't go on strike again.)
A: Thump it and tell it to go to bed early.
Q: I recently purchased a nanobot 'Unit 42µg', but it keeps exploding. What do I do?
A: Type in access code 12π∂4∫6∆Fƒ84 and insert a 495©∆BjS disc into the disk drive.
Q: There are no 'Unit 62Ωe's left in stock in your warehouse headquaters in Onlond. Are there any other warehouses in Denlang?
A: Sorry but no. We will try to get more in stock later in the year. Sorry for this slight inconvenience!
Q: Do you have the 'Unit 54∆o's jet pack separate from the robot? I bought one for my son's birthday but the jet pack was missing.
A: Sorry for the inconvenience! We will try to get one posted to you in the next few weeks with no postal charge! (That is, if the postmen don't go on strike again.)
Missing robot update
There has been a report from a Zentax living in the void outside our Universe that he has spotted one of our robots flying around, trying to break through the barrier of another Universe. This information is unconfirmed, so we will not take it seriously until there is further research and proof on the matter.
More missing robots
Two more robots have gone on strike and escaped the Protronix warehouse after their acquaintance 17∆b disappeared. According to Unit 1Aa, the missing specimens are: Unit 26Ad and 84øp. If you have seen these robots, email 'protronix47@protronmail.net' immediately. They are also deadly, as 26Ad is a repair robot, which can take apart electronic object and attach them to itself. 84øp is a war robot, with guns and laser cannons. There is a way of stopping them though: 26Ad has no protective casing on his back, and 84øp has a loose wire that had been half-put in when he escaped.
Upgrade available
Unit 78π9 has a new upgrade available- 78π10. It has a new chemical combustion engine with chemical mixers, genetic specimens, and more... coming to shops in a few days.
Missing Robot
A specimen robot from our company has gone missing. Its code name is 'Unit 17∆b' and it has deadly weapons. Being a bodyguard, it has the ability to kill other inhabitants. If you see it, please email 'protronix47@protronmail.net' as soon as possible. We need your support. Thank you.
Welcome
Welcome to Protronix! We have a wide selection of robotic utilities for public use. (Note: To access utilities, the owner of the credit card must live in/around Racnoss.) Robot units must not be used for any means of illegal status, e.g. smuggling, murder, etc.
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